Countdown to Clay...

While the black cape has always been in play and the tiny pointed teeth a consideration when it comes to Itsy's orthodonture, it is the fuzzy purple-colored skin coating that has been growing all over us that is a bit questionable. We usually like to keep our counting tendencies to neighborhood sites like telephone poles, pigeons, stray dogs and the occasional meth lab, but as Clay moves in on Saturday we have really picked up the pace...ah, ah, ah...

- 12(00) dust bunnies thwarted
- 11 rooms of paint a splashin'
- 10 minutes of beautiful outside weather appreciated
- 9(00) rounds up and down the stairs with no noticeable muscular build up :(
- 8 days until the 1st
- 7(00) feet of floors a layin'
- 6 feet of cock-eyed retaining wall to be straightened
- 5 GOLDEN WEEKS!? Actually it is now looking like 4 and that feels a little less golden...
- 4 days of waiting on the cleaning lady
- 3 plumbers plumbin'
- 2 movers a movin' (only the big stuff)
- ...and a single lock left steadfastly unopened

See What Condition My (Our) Condition Is In...

The Dude says "you're looking pregnant girl."

Hermann just laughs.

All I know is that the wowing gut construction that occurs while I am sleeping has negated my ability to roll over with any speed and caused a few noteworthy instances in which formerly navigable paths are now places I simply get stuck. Itsy seems to want someone to hold her foot and when I found myself balancing a book on her bum the other day things started to feel odd. I am however feeling genuinely good through the changes of every day although I attribute this to the fantasy in which there are at least a couple of weeks during which I can suck in movies, go to museums and feel socially normal? The reality of my reality vs. the condition of my (our) conditions remains to be seen.

Beyond The Grid

While Hermann is getting his image on a Sony Playing card and a character in a 48 Hour Film Project city will be named Kristin, neither of us could possibly aspire to making it to the NYT crossword puzzle. Ohhh...our little Itsy...so accomplished...

Monday Morning Progress Report

HERMANN- Has proven himself quite adept with paint and excels at the creative usage of cardboard boxes. His classmates enjoy his company and his clever sense of humor. He should be commended for never speaking out of turn and taking needed personal time to strum his mandolin in the empty rooms and hallways of the "new wing."

KRISTIN- Has a tendency to utilize innumerable scraps of paper on which to write and subsequently re-write her lists. This not only makes her a wee bit neurotic, but an annoying classmate that as of recently is more of a broken record than an interesting conversationalist. Her suspect growing mid-section is close to rendering her immobile and should that occur, she may be expelled under suspicion of inappropriate student contact.

ITSY- While Itsy's growth shows promise, her overall tendency to do nothing but slosh around is not in line with current curricula. She has not, as of yet, engaged with her classmates although she shows a significant connection and throws out loving 1-2 punches to the students above. Suspicions are that she is in fact attempting to communicate, but a means by which to interpret her efforts has not yet been found. Radiohead therapy had been employed, but the results are sadly inconclusive.

Further progress of project 1-2-3 can bee seen in short form below. The carpet was installed, the alluring fridge was removed by a thankfully death defying comedic duo straight off of the Craig's List 10 step program and standing by our first non-food color inspired wall is our new friend Orlando who is going to take some of the painting pressure off of Hermann so he can focus on his studies. Up this week: all trim finished, front wall straightened out, all available furniture moved down, upstairs to be painted and Kyle to begin laying the floors in the lowest level. Don't hold your breath.

DOG! Not Dunce (Heyden's Corner)...

Heyden was concerned that the tales of his recent brushes with death might make him sound like he was losing his zip. He wants to assure you his appetite for all paper products has not diminished and that given the opportunity to nab a pretzel on top of the bar, he'll happily and recklessly employ his toothpick strong legs to get himself up there. While he acknowledges that he is unable to hear his name or "no!" screamed directly in to his ear, he can, utilizing some kind of questionable witchcraft, ascertain when we are working in the apartment below and let loose the stressful barks and cries of separation anxiety to his advantage. He is particularly proud of that skill. His message...

"Hi (ow)- I'm (ow) o.k. (ow)"
- Heyden

In To The Woods

While we couldn't catch a shot of the woodpecker that has been drilling our metal chimney, I was able to capture the occasionally more elusive "woodsander" Kyle (it seems he is not at all afraid of owls or tin foil like our other little friend). One of two rooms sanded and lookin' sharp. Floors
to be laid in the lower level (see how I didn't refer to it as the dungeon) in two weeks or so.
Progress, eh?